A guest blog by Paul Bricker
Passage: "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into
thy closet, and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in
secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly"
(Matt 6:6).[1]
In
one of my last conversations with my father before he died in 2011, he shared
with me one of his great fears about me.
He lamented: "When you were
growing up, mother and I thought that you would never be able to speak…."
I
grew up with a severe speech impediment.
I did not say my first sentence until I was 5 and ½ years old.
My first sentence was to my younger sister: "Darah, don't duck your
thumb!". It means: "Sarah, don't suck your thumb".
All
through my early years, my mother would take me on Saturday morning to meet
with a speech therapist. We would go
over words and sentences trying to help me to speak. I still stuttered and stuttered….
When
I was in fourth grade, my mother was called for a parent-teachers conference
after class. I was with them alone in
the class room. The teacher whispered to
my mother: "Your son has all sorts
of problems speaking—you as the parent need to know that he is not college
material.” Just because a person has
trouble speaking, does not mean that the person has problems hearing! Needless to say I suffered ridicule from many
classmates growing up.
At
age 8, I was converted to being a follower of Jesus Christ. My mother would take many children to a Bible
Club on Fridays after school. This is
where I gave my heart to the Lord Jesus.
At
age 9, I heard Malcolm X on the nightly news program. He was articulating that
African-American/White relationships were so bad that the only solution was
segregation. He wanted part of
Mississippi as a separate country from the United States. God used what Malcolm X said to burn within
my heart that the injustices in race relations had to be addressed. At this point I started to prepare myself to
be an urban missionary. There was one
problem—I stuttered and stuttered and stuttered….
At
age 12, I started to have my devotions without any adult encouraging me. In my bedroom that I shared with my brother
was a large closet (probably 5 feet by 4.5 feet). It was large because it had a door that led
to an attic storage place. I found an
old school desk (probably made in the 1920s) from my great Aunt—Aunt Minnie Lee
McComas who had been a school teacher for over 40 years. I put that desk in my closet. I started my devotions in Genesis 1:1 (where
else does one start?). I would enter my
closet. I would close the door. I would read about ½ a chapter a day. And I would pray.
Eventually,
I came to Exodus 3 and 4. This is the
passage about Moses' call by God to go to Pharaoh and ask Pharaoh to let God's
people go from slavery to the promised land.
God gave Moses the call but Moses had an objection: "And Moses said unto the Lord, O my
Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou has spoken unto thy
servant: but I am slow of speech, and of
a slow tongue" (Exod 4:10). At this point, I stuttered to the Lord: "L-l-l-ord, I-I-I c-c-cannot s-s-speak!!"
Now
it is God's time to object to Moses:
"And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the
seeing, or the blind? Have not I the
Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be
with your mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say" (Exod 4:11-12)
At
this point God healed my mouth. I quit
stuttering. I learned from the Lord that
He will be with my mouth, and teach me what I am supposed to say. Even today, I might suffer bouts with
stuttering. I have found that at those
moments I need to turn to God for help.
What
are implications for my life? Much of my life was formed by this
experience. Here are some of them:
1. I learned to pray. I took literally what the Lord said in
Matthew 6:6. I went into my closet…. I shut the door….. And I prayed…. What happened? "Thy Father which seeth in secret shall
reward thee openly." My Father rewarded me openly by allowing me to speak. This is something to thank the Lord for.
2. I believe in miracles. All miracles are answers to prayer. I believe in talking to God and expecting God
to answer.
3. My ministry has an element of social
justice. I am against discrimination
against Afro-Americans, women, and people from Appalachia. I have like Moses a "Let my people go!!"
aspect to ministry.
4. Finally, here are some of the major
accomplishments in my ministry: At age
21, I helped start Alpha-Omega Community Theological School (ACTS) in Newark,
NJ. This was an urban school to help
train urban ministers. I was originally
ordained by a Black Pentecostal denomination and I started three Black
Pentecostal Churches in Philadelphia during my 13 years in Philadelphia, PA. I helped start Pilgrim Church in Beverly, MA. This is a church that ministers to heroin
addicts in the North Shore of Massachusetts.
I have ministered to various churches in Southern West Virginia. I participate in a silent prayer meeting in
Charleston, WV. This affirms my
muteness. Finally, I am a Hospice
Chaplain. What is the common thread to
all this ministry? On the surface, it
looks like there is no common thread to all this work. Here is the thread: I minister to those who have no voice as a
person who has no voice (except by a miracle from God).
The
Apostle Paul writes about ministering out of one's disability. When he asked God to take away a thorn in the
flesh, God answered that prayer with a "No": And God “said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for thee; for my
strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the
power of Christ may rest upon me'" (2 Cor 12:9). I minister out of my physical weakness and
the power of Christ shows itself through my disability.
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